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July 31, 2006

More farewells

This is the last day for another member of The Post's editorial department -- copy editor Anna Harris.

I've always considered reporting to be a job that gets about 10 times more criticism than compliments from the public, but for a copy editor, that ratio is far worse. Basically, the only time the public ever talks about the copy editors at a newspaper is when they miss something.

But every reporter on the planet knows that it's the copy editor that makes their stories look good -- like star running backs and quarterbacks that buy gifts for their offensive lineman.

Hidekiholics not anonymous

I’m officially declaring myself on the Hideki Nagasaka bandwagon.

Actually, if there is such a thing as the Hideki Nagasaka bandwagon, I wouldn’t mind being the conductor.

Nagasaka is one of the newest members of the Chico Outlaws. He’s one of the Golden Baseball League’s few-remaining Japanese players, a holdover from last season’s experiment with an all-Japanese traveling squad, the Samurai Bears. He started this season with the Reno Silver Sox, but was recently acquired by the Outlaws in a trade.

Seriously, you need to go watch this guy pitch. It’s fun.

He's only 5’6” tall, and his Outlaws uniform looks like it’s about two sizes too big. Yet he gets up on the mound and can blow a fastball by people.

Nagasaka has a real “Rudy” quality to him that makes the ballgame all that much more entertaining.

Some Outlaws might be apprehensive to Nagasaka for no other reason than, to complete the trade, the Outlaws would up sending popular but injured outfielder Steve Booker to Reno. But it's not fair to hold that against Nagasaka.

So, what should Nagasaka fans be called? “Hideki Heads?” “Hidekiholics?”

I dunno. I just want to see him pitch again — and resist the temptation to chant his name over and over.

July 30, 2006

Hey Magalia, if you want to talk trash some more...

...your friendly neighborhood Upper Ridge Coordinating Council is giving you the chance.

URCC Chairman Charles "Buzz" Glass sent me an email the other day letting me know there's been an additional speaker added to the council's regular monthly meeting on Friday.

Already scheduled to speak was Paradise Town Manager Chuck Rough. But added to the speaker list is Bill Mannel.

Mannel, along with being a Paradise resident, is the county solid waste manager. He's one of the main figures on the county side of things as far as the joint waste-hauling franchise goes.

This is a real chance for Magalians to hear what this franchise is all about from the county perspective, coming straight from one of the horse's mouths.

The meeting is at 1:30 p.m. Friday at the Paradise Pines Property Owners Assocation at 14211 Wycliff Way in Magalia. Considering the subject of the meeting, seats may get taken up quickly.

July 28, 2006

A "Slate" of mind: Local news "dumb"

My high school science teacher/football coach had an interesting clothing theory: He claimed that wearing a baseball cap backwards automatically caused a person’s IQ to drop 50 points.

If that were true, then Slate’s Jack Shafer must have been wearing not only a cap backwards, but his shirt, pants and socks when he suggested that local papers increasing focus on local news is a form of “dumbing down” newspapers.

Allow me to twist Shafer’s bill forward for him here.

As far as newspapers go, the Post is very local — more local than most. And, if you were to take a look back through the archives at our Reader of the Week segments that run every Tuesday, you’ll see that most of those readers have a similar answer to the question of “What do you like most about The Post?”

That answer? “Local news.”

Maybe I’m overly sensitive working for a paper that places such a high emphasis on local coverage, but I fail to see how that’s a dumbing down.

I’m not sure if Shafer has forgotten this or not, but newspapers are not intended to be great pieces of literary work. In essence, newspapers should be dumb.

Let me explain. Literature is designed to show off the skills of the writer. To be successful in the literary format, the writer must create detailed, realistic and relatable characters placed in a detailed environment within a story that leaves few holes or loose ends tied up by the time the words “The End” or “Finis” appear. To truly appreciate a story, a reader must be focused deeply on a story. They must recall past passages in the story and connect dots to figure out just how much depth a writer put into a story.

Those aren’t the points of newspaper writing. News writing is just that—deliver the news in a form that’s simple to read and that readers can pick up everything in the story in a few minutes, if not seconds. Anybody wanting to write like Chaucer is barking up the wrong tree by heading to the newspaper office.

For the record, I was a journalism major and a creative writing minor, so I have experience with both newspapers and novels. Many other folks in the media are the same way.

So, Shafer can call it dumbing down all he wants. I’ll just see it as him playing Captain Obvious.

Captain Obvious wearing a backwards baseball cap.

July 27, 2006

Boozin' Butte Creek

I work in Paradise, but I live in Chico. As such, I've seen many interesting reactions to the Butte County Board of Supervisors considering an alcohol ban on Butte Creek.

Much of the response from the Ridge has focused on questioning the county's ability to enforce a ban--and I've noticed a peculiar pattern of using the ban as a conduit to criticize the supervisors' 56 percent pay raise. A portion of Larry Andersen's 49er comment:

Why go to all the trouble and expense of executing a ban that can't be enforced? Here's a simple solution: All the supervisors should rescind their 56 percent raises to cover the expense of extra police patrols for the creek.

From an email I received:

I find it amazing that Mr. Yamagata thinks that if we put more restrictions on people that are breaking the law, they would stop breaking the law. The people that are trespassing, vandalizing, parking cars in the creek are breaking the law. Why don't we enforce those laws instead of costing the tax payers more money to create and maintain more laws that can't be enforced.

To note, the correct name is "Yamaguchi" not "Yamagata." And there hasn't been any information put out about the ordinance creating additonal expense for the county outside of whatever staff time is spent writing the law.

Down in Chico, I know a lot of people who are tubers and who tube Butte Creek. I've never tubed on Butte Creek, but I have tubed on the Sacramento River (but not on Labor Day). All the reactions I've heard on the valley floor are one of the following:

1) Good. That creek's tough enough to navigate sober, let alone drunk.
2) It's the county just taking another thing away from people.

To be honest, through this whole thing, I'm surprised that I haven't seen this proposal being described as being predjudicial against college students. Tubing is a popular local activity among the college-aged crowd.

Having gone to Chico State, I can tell you that people using restrictions and regulations to demonstrate their dislike of the college-age crowd and Chico's student neighborhoods are a serious concern among people that attend the university. The student card has been batted around frequently because of law enforcement crackdowns on the Sacramento River Labor Day float, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day and now even Cesar Chavez Day. I would imagine there are similar sentiments among Butte College students as well.

Then again, that argument might not have come up because it's summer break. We'll find out in a few weeks when classes start again.

It's a rat, not a mouse...

I'm sure there are moments when every political reporter feels as though this is accurate.

July 26, 2006

Bump stubborness

In internet linguistics, a "bump" is when something is restated in order to bring it back to people's attention.

This is, in fact, a bump.

I posted the following on July 16 and didn't receive a response. I thought I'd give it the old college try (Chico State '05, Siskiyous '03) and post it again:

“Local” is always a big deal. No different in Paradise or Magalia.

“Local” is a phrase I’ve been hearing a lot during the trash franchise. Whether it’s at the Town Council, in letters to the editor, calls to the 49er Speakeasy, message boards or blogs, the talk is all about getting rid of the “local” companies and bringing in out-of-town companies that aren’t “local.”

I imagine I’ll hear the same things on July 25 at the Board of Supervisors, as its inevitable there will be Magalians showing up to speak. Maybe some Paradisians too.

Councilman Scott Lotter pointed out during Monday’s meeting that neither Norcal or Waste Management are based in Butte County, they just operate here. Norcal is based in San Francisco and Waste Management is based in Texas.

So that does leave interesting questions, which I think every person involved on this debate regardless of their side should answer:

What makes a company local?

Where is the line drawn between local and not local?

Is it possible for any new company to establish these unwritten requirements to be local? If so, can they still be opposed for not being local?

Does a company become more local the longer they are in the area?

Can a large company buy out a business from owners that live in the area and be considered local?

Let's try this again.

July 25, 2006

10 rules for getting a flat tire

Rule 1: You do not talk about the flat tire.

Rule 2: You do not talk about the flat tire.

Rule 3: Never, ever get a flat tire on Highway 99 through Chico between the hours of 5 and 7 p.m. Drivers during this time are all getting off work; they're tired, they want to get home and most importantly they never ever slow down.

Rule 4: Never, ever get a flat tire in the left hand lane. Why? Because all those driving around you will not let you get over into the right-hand lane so you can get onto an offramp , therefore not having to put on a spare alongside Highway 99 during rush-hour traffic when people never ever slow down.

Rule 5: Flat tires can almost be sensed. There's the thinking of, "Gee, I'm on the gas pretty hard to be only going 50. Awful lot of noise coming from the right rear section of my car. *dawning moment of realization hits* Oh shoot, let me off the road, folks." Think of it as similar to what Abu Musab al-Zarqawi must have had happen to him: "Hey guys, you hear something? No seriously, it's getting louder..."

Rule 6: Remember that, if you have a spare and have practiced putting on a spare numerous times with your father, you don't need to have Chico PD call you a tow truck. It's a waste of time for you and truck driver, who comments several times that if he knew you were on the freeway, he wouldn't have come out in the first place because it's Highway 99 during rish-hour traffic when people never ever slow down.

Rule 7: If you're going to get a flat tire, try to have it happen in the Friday evening-Sunday afternoon timeframe. That way, you don't have to call in to work and let your boss know you're going to be late because you're needing to get a new tire.

Rule 8: Flat tires are infinitely worse after having spent all day covering a Butte County Board of Supervisors meeting in Oroville--especially when it was most likely the mass amounts of road construction between Oroville and Chico that caused the flat tire on Highway 99 during rush-hour traffic when people never ever slow down.

Rule 9: Free roadside assistance with your car insurance is sweet.

Rule 10: Tire warranties are sweet, espeically if the tire failed three months and 4,000 miles after being installed.

Butte County politics as a spectator sport once again...

Let's be honest, about two or three out of every 1,785,429 jokes made during a government meeting could actually be classfied as "funny."

This crack from Tuesday's Butte County Board of Supervisors meeting just might make the cut:

3:55 p.m., Supervisors chambers in Oroville. Agenda Item 5.03, dealing with developing a draft framework of guiding principals for the General Plan update to send on to a citzens advisory committee, a timed item scheduled to start at 1:30 p.m. which didn't actually start until after 3 p.m.

Curt Josiassen, complimenting that General Plan discussion was going somewhat faster than the usual snail pace and producing results: "We keep this up, and we won't have to order pizza."

Wisecracker in the audience: "Keep this up, and we'll be ordering breakfast burritos."

P.S. Having been through a couple of these sessions before, I just have to note the whole thing lasted just a little over an hour--actually quite quick. The wisecracker must have been a newbie.

So long, and good night...

Today is the last day at The Post for two of our staff writers, Jeremy Walsh and Valerie Lum.

They are eventually headed for that strange, bizarre and odd world referred to as "back east."

I wish them good luck, or even better, real live hard-earned success.

Just an ultimate head-scratcher for everybody...

YouTube is hardly a bastion of accuracy by journalism standards (or any standards, actually), but no matter what the video is at least interesting.

According to the description on the site, this video was taken recently at Prince William Sound in Alaska, the place where the Exxon Valdez spill occured in 1989. A hole was dug a few inches into the ground, water poured into it, and oil rises to the surface.

This press release dated in April from the Prince William Sound Science Center would seem to at least make one think the video is accurate. 100 percent proof as far as I'm concenred? Not at this point.

Even without 100 percent confirmation that this video was taken in the last few months at the site where the Valdez disaster occured and no matter what your personal thoughts are on oil consumption (my car gets 35 miles a gallon on a bad day), the video should likely at least make you wonder if you've got some space to plant some corn and contribute toward some E85. (I stink at growing corn.)

July 24, 2006

You can read it for yourself, too

Three little letters that have been on the lips of many Ridge residents as of late: RFP. Acronym for "request for proposals." In particular, the RFP for a waste-hauling franchise that encompasses Paradise, most of Magalia and along Pentz Road south of Paradise's town limits.

Well, the Town of Paradise has made that RFP available for the public to read online. Read it by clicking here.

Also available: Clarifications about the RFP.

Anybody out there have thoughts on this? Drop a comment and let the world know!

July 23, 2006

Is it hot enough for you?

I made the fatal mistake of actually leaving my apartment for a hour and a half today and being outdoors at a barbecue.

In case you haven't noticed, the heat wave here in Butte County has been breaking records. And since I live in Chico, I received it a good four or five degrees warmer than I would have if I was up in Paradise for the day.

The tempature topped out at somewhere over 110 on the valley floor today. Sorry, but my personal limit is 105, and that's because my a/c doesn't strain and those three to four hours during the middle of the day I voluntarily shut the a/c off to help relieve pressure on the state power grid are at least tolerable.

But there's another reason I have my eye out on the weather: I'm a reporter. And people love to make reporters do stories on the weather.

Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Tom Ferrick Jr. explains the thoughts of a reporter doing a weather story better than I ever could in this column.

On a side note, this column managed to trigger one of the most non-sequitur letters I've ever read in my entire life. Of course, the author at the very least shares the same name as a food writer, so I could see how her view of a newsroom is so wildly incorrect.

Paradise makes Leno, Part Deux

The still shots are now up on the Tonight Show's Web site:

Image #1

Image #2

A friendly reminder...

The 50th post of Platypus is a friendly reminder to never, ever plagarize. Especially from the Internet. Especially on the Internet from the Internet. Then you're just asking to get caught. And be made fun of.

WARNING: Two occurances of dirty words in the link.

July 22, 2006

Canseco video surfaces

I just found this video on YouTube of Jose Canseco warming up on the mound at Nettleton Stadium Monday night. How much was the ol' butterfly ball moving? Determine for yourself.

By the way, if you look just to the right of Canseco, you can see the Paradise Post's outfield wall advertisement...

July 20, 2006

I'm not Star Jones, freebies not accepted.

If people I like start new blogs, I'll shamelessly be promoting them here. Let's start now.

This new blog from one of my old cohorts at The Orion, Stephanie Miles. She's recently moved to New York City as her husband Troy starts med school. NYC is, in case you don't know, a far cry from Chico, or even Red Bluff.

So read all about Stephanie in the city at NYnewbie.

July 19, 2006

Reschedule your trash-hauling calendar.

The Butte County Board of Supervisors will not be discussing the Ridge's new proposed waste-haulling franchise until Aug. 22.

For more details, read tomorrow's edition of The Post.

A conversation with Kaval

Following last night’s Golden Baseball League All-Star Game, I had the chance to have a short conversation with David Kaval, the league’s chief executive officer.

I last talked with Kaval over two years ago, when I was still at Chico State and a reporter in The Orion’s sports department.

This is the story I wrote then.

Here’s an overview of what we talked about last night, and what we had to say:

*Kaval was happy with the All-Star Game’s turnout (3,111—at least before Jose Canseco pitched). He said he thought that game topped the All-Star Game of the old Western Baseball League. Since I never saw a WBL All-Star Game, I can't tell you.

*On Canseco’s pitching performance and not going the entire inning pre-game press releases promised, Kaval said he talked to scouts from the Indians and Red Sox in attendance, who said Canseco’s knuckleball was moving around. As far as Canseco’s shorter-than-promised showing, the hurler (I guess that’s technically accurate) was on a pitch count for the evening, and had already thrown two sessions in the bullpen.

Two notes from other Post staffers on those comments: “Yeah, it was moving--all over the infield” and “A knuckleballer on a pitch count?”

*Where’s the All-Star Game being played next? Kaval said the league hasn’t decided when the 2007 All-Star Game will be, but it’s not likely Chico will host the game two years in a row. Yuma, which is leading the league in attendance, is currently a frontrunner.

*Where else is the league expanding besides St. George? The GBL is looking at the greater Bay Area and the north state. It’s key for the league to be balanced, Kaval said. That means teams should be clustered together for road trips—such as the Outlaws received this year in the Reno Silver Sox.

On a side note and a big hint, they could get that in the future with teams in Vacaville, Marysville, Redding or Medford. (I will continue with my series of posts on where the GBL should expand in the future, I promise).

*Overall, the league’s primary concern in finding new markets is finding ones that will support a team, Kaval said. Okay, that’s a surprise.

All-Star Thoughts

So, here are some of the funner facts of the last night’s Golden Baseball League All-Star Game:

*The five competitors from the North Division in the Home Run Derby hit a combined 12 home runs in the first round. Scott Goodman of San Diego hit 13 by himself—and it must be noted that homer #8 sailed right over the top of the Paradise Post sign.

*My pregame predictions were as follows: Marcus Jensen would win the Home Run Derby, the North would win the game, Bobby Gandolfo would win MVP, and five errors would be committed. Hey, I went 1-for-4, so right now me and Canseco are pretty much even.

*Goodman and Canseco, the two players qualifying for the derby’s final round, were also the two players that hit more homers in the derby than they’ve hit during the regular season. Of course, Canseco hasn’t had that many games to work with.

*The announced attendance of the game was 3,111 — of course that dropped by well over a thousand after the end of the fourth inning. I had to wait by the ramps for five minutes to get back to my seat on the first-base line because of the river of people leaving the ballpark.

*A lot fewer of those people would have left after the fourth if the league had been a little more adamant about stating the game itself would have open substitution rules (meaning a player could come and go from the game however they pleased). People figured once Terry Kennedy yanked Canseco from the mound, he was done.

*The open sub rule makes the baseball purist in me scream with terror. Of course, it's the same baseball purist in me that screamed with terror when I found out the GBL went to the DH this season.

*My overall evaluation of Canseco’s knuckleball: there had to be some movement going on because none of the hitters got super-solid contact on it, and he had a wind blowing from left field to right, but there’s still something to be desired since everybody could hit it.

*It would have been shocking if the North hadn’t won. They had more players with experience in The Show, more players with heavy lumber, and only had to face 7 2/3 innings of All-Star pitching.

*Jason Van Meetren of Chico hit the game-winning homer in the bottom of the 8th and proceeded to raise his arms in air as he circled the bases. Simple exhibition game? Tell that to Jason.

*Jose Canseco remains hitless at Nettleton Stadium.

*As I noted before, I think every person that vocally booed Canseco last night are Giants fans in denial. There were at least two signs in the stadium ragging on Canseco, one with "No Way Jose" and another saying "HGH." Of course, those fans then proceeded to get tossed from the stadium for trying to start something with a pizza vendor, leaving the question for several annoyed fans nearby of whether they full of something besides pizza.

*Even though Van Meetren won the MVP, give some love to Adam Mandel of San Diego. The guy hit five doubles in one game, for crying out loud.

*Just something to note here: San Diego has a guy hit 13 homers in the first round of the derby, and another player hit five doubles in the actual All-Star Game. And they finished dead last in the first half?

*While they didn’t win the game, the South won my unofficial Ugly Finder competition (a tip of the hat to Giants broadcaster Mike Krukow), as two foul tips found their way into the South dugout (the first one with particulary high velocity), compared to none for the North dugout.

July 18, 2006

Jose's Line

Here it is. The final tally from the Jose Canseco Knuckleball Experience:

1/3 inning pitched. (The first out of the fourth inning)
5 batters faced, and they were the heart of the North squad's order.
3 hits.
1 walk.
4 earned runs.

And Jose was off the mound before Terry Kennedy even finished walking to it.

In the end, Jose has a lifetime Golden Baseball League earned run average of 108.00, and every Canseco hater is laughing their butt off at the GBL for the second time in 15 days. Although technically, since this is an exhibition game, it doesn't really count.

Hitting-wise, he was 0-for-2.

Overall, it really soured a day that started off great for Canseco, and he did win the pre-game Home Run Derby.

More on the GBL All-Star Game to come, including my notes from throughout the day and a brief post-game conversation I had with David Kaval.

UPDATE: Canseco's time on the mound, blow by blow:

Canseco strolls to the mound for the bottom of the 4th, with the South leading 5-1. Mixture of boos from all the Giants fans in attendance and cheers from all the non-Giants fans and maybe the Giants fans that don't like Bonds.

The first batter Canseco gets to face is Marcus Jensen of the Reno Silver Sox. Marcus sent a pitch into left that gets under the fielder's glove. Charged as a hit, Jensen gets a double.

Next up is Chico's Mike Mallory. Big Mal seeing-eye singles it to put runners on the corners.

Third batter doesn't get any easier for Jose--it's the Outlaws' Desi Wilson. Canseco's on his third batter, pitching in a development-minded league, and it's the second batter with big-league experience. But Desi doesn't get ahold of it, and a 5-to-3 puts him back on the bench. But Jensen scored from third, and the game is 5-2.

Fourth batter, Doug Gredvig from the Reno. The ol' wobbleball can't find the strike zone, and Gredvig takes his base.

Fifth batter is Henry Calderon of the Yuma Scorpions. Calderon rips a 1-1 pitch ground-style right down the third base line. Mallory scores, 5-3. Out comes Kennedy with the hook. Both Gredvig and Calderon score later in the inning, so both those runs are charged to Jose as well.

And the minor-league gimmick bar has been raised again...

Believe it or not, The Jose Canseco Knuckleball Experience at Nettleton Stadium tonight (I'm there baby, section 104 represent!) may very well not be the most over-the-top minor-league gimmick--of the evening.

While the Bash Brother is attempting to strike out the likes of Desi and Big Mal with butterfly balls, over in Kansas City, 94-year-old Negro League player "Buck" O'Neil will be playing in the Northern League's All-Star Game.

The crazy part: Buck could probably still play better than a few members of the Royals.

Now what are people saying about Jose?

Here's some comments from the blogosphere on Jose Canseco:

Deadspin: Baseball's premiere steroid narc has also said that he will unveil his knuckleball. We are relieved, as at first we thought this whole thing was going to be a farce.

Reader comment from Deadspin story: My dad said he saw him, years later, playing under a made-up name in some minor league. He'd put on 50 pounds, and the spring was gone from his step, but he could still hit. Wait, I'm thinking of someone else.

Seal Clubbin' Fun: Did Canseco buy the Golden Baseball League?

My Opinion is Superior to Your Opinion: Is he serious? Is the Golden Baseball League serious? Doesn't he remember this is how he ended his 1993 season?

Adam's Blog: These leagues are entertainment and fun beyond the mass market driven major league teams. Its all good thing, but lets not call a debut something its not. Jose Canseco has pitched before and the batters are eagerly awaiting their meeting. (side note: He refers to the GBL as the "Golden Bear League." Thanks for the compliment dude, but at least learn the league's name)

Saved By The Blog: Jose Canseco will be making his Golden Baseball League pitching debut tomorrow in the League's All-Star Game, thus proving that the GBL is indeed one part baseball, four parts complete joke.

Overall, I have to say "ouch" for the GBL.

But you know what? I'm about to do the unthinkable: I'm going to ask a question that defends Jose Canseco.

Everybody’s getting a big laugh out of Jose being a pitcher based on his Texas Rangers experience. What I’m wondering about here is: What about Wade Boggs?

Boggs, hall-of-fame third baseman for the Red Sox, Yankees and Devil Rays, managed to pitch in the majors not only once, but twice. He totaled 2 2/3 career innings in the big leagues, and threw—you guessed it—knuckleballs.

Did anybody rag hard on Boggs?

Also, something to note: Fullerton isn’t that far from Long Beach, and the Flyers’ pitching coach is none other than long-time big-league knuckleballer Charlie Hough.

Why would the league make its new meal ticket look like a idiot twice in the same month?

July 17, 2006

Paradise makes Leno...

Well, what do you know. I install two new AAAs in my television's remote, I reprogram it for my new apartment, and all of a sudden I'm getting five new channels, three of which communicate in a language I understand.

Apparently, I did this just in the nick of time, too.

With my reprogrammed televison, I'm picking up NBC again, so I can not only watch Paraidse Post audiocaster Jerry Olenyn in action, but I can watch "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" and his regular Monday feature, Headlines.

I'll post it as soon as NBC puts it online, but tonight's edition (which I just got done watching 10 minutes ago), included a clipping discussing the Paradise woman who wrecked on Skyway a few weeks back because she allegedly told law enforcement she swerved to miss a bug.

You can see the name "Paradise" clearly on the screen, too.

Now, this didn't feature a story from this particular paper, but you can't win them all...

Get 'em while they're hot. Or at the very least pleasantly warm.

So, just how many tickets are left to Golden Baseball League All-Star Game?

Well, at about 10:50 p.m. Pacific time Monday night, according to online ticket sales on the Chico Outlaws Web site, there are roughly 1,859 seats remaining, which would put the numbers at just over half of the available tickets sold.

So, odds are pretty good of you being able to snag some if you stop by the Outlaws ticket offices tomorrow morning.

And if you're coming from out-of-town for the Jose Canseco Knuckleball Experience, might I recommend sticking around for a while so you can Experience Butte County?

GBL -- Whatever you're smoking, don't hog it all

You know, people generally were cool with the Golden Baseball League signing up Jose Canseco to play. I mean, sure, it was obviously part of a deal for some publicity, but it's the minor leagues and that stuff happens. It's part of the appeal.

But even minor league baseball publicity stunts can go too far. And that's what the GBL just did.

Because in Tuesday night's All-Star Game at Nettleton Stadium in Chico, Canseco, of the San Die--er, Long Beach Armada, is going to play — and pitch.

Now, let's look at a few things here:

*Canseco is seven (count 'em, seven) games into his GBL career.

*He's already with his second team.

*In his only game with his first team — also played in Chico and the only game that actually garnered any real attention from the national media — Canseco stunk the ballpark up worse than the Long Beach Rally Skunks ever could, striking out three times.

*In his first 13 GBL at-bats, Canseco managed one hit and 11 strikeouts. Not a good ratio.

*He's now up to a .259 average, which doesn't sound too bad — until you realize the league as a whole is batting .277.

*The league has guaranteed Canseco will pitch an entire inning. Let's think about this. The last time Canseco pitched through an entire inning 14 years ago, not only did he make the Texas Rangers management look as dumb as — well — the GBL's management does now, he managed to injure himself in the process.

You know, I could (possibly) let the GBL get away with Canseco participating in the pre-game Home Run Derby or something, but not playing in a game which presents itself with the concept of having to be earned to play in, and especially not doing something that he hasn't done in over a decade. Then the publicity stunting goes too far.

One of the GBL's investors is Wheel of Fortune host Pat Sajak. After this move, I'd like to buy league management a clue.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I plan on attending tomorrow's game. Of course, I was planning on going before this little revelation occurred.

July 16, 2006

This question is, of course, asked locally...

“Local” is always a big deal. No different in Paradise or Magalia.

“Local” is a phrase I’ve been hearing a lot during the trash franchise. Whether it’s at the Town Council, in letters to the editor, calls to the 49er Speakeasy, message boards or blogs, the talk is all about getting rid of the “local” companies and bringing in out-of-town companies that aren’t “local.”

I imagine I’ll hear the same things on July 25 at the Board of Supervisors, as its inevitable there will be Magalians showing up to speak. Maybe some Paradisians too.

Councilman Scott Lotter pointed out during Monday’s meeting that neither Norcal or Waste Management are based in Butte County, they just operate here. Norcal is based in San Francisco and Waste Management is based in Texas.

So that does leave interesting questions, which I think every person involved on this debate regardless of their side should answer:

What makes a company local?

Where is the line drawn between local and not local?

Is it possible for any new company to establish these unwritten requirements to be local? If so, can they still be opposed for not being local?

Does a company become more local the longer they are in the area?

Can a large company buy out a business from owners that live in the area and be considered local?

Remix, sorta...

The Butte County Web site has a new look.

UPDATE 5/17/06: Now it's back to its old look. People are messing with me. I blame The Man(TM).

July 14, 2006

The lil' guys from Sac Town

I'll admit it, some of my notes during Monday's Town Council meeting were one-liner jokes. Since I wasn't the primary reporter at that meeting and was mainly focusing on blogging about it, I had the luxury.

When a representative of ATLAS Disposal Industries came up to speak, I noted that throughout this whole waste hauling franchise process, ATLAS has been like a member of The Rat Pack besides Sinatra, Martin and Davis.

What I meant by that is you kind of knew ATLAS was there — they responded to proposal and all — but they were mostly being ignored. Which waste companies best personifies Ol' Blue Eyes is up to you.

Why such a cold shoulder for ATLAS? Because they neither received the county/town committee recommendation or were already established on the Ridge. If Waste Management or NorCal Waste Systems was going to go after anybody in their media campaigns, they were going to be focused on Northern Recycling and Waste Services, because they received the committee endorsement. They were the highest on the totem pole.

But after the Town Council voted Monday night, everybody knew who ATLAS was.

Another note I had jotted down as reps from the Sacramento-based company spoke, sometimes more to the audience that to the Town Council: "I wonder if the Eskimos are interested in the ice?"

Besides the political incorrectness on ethnicity, (it's Inuits, not Eskimos) it seemed like an accurate thought. They weren't the low bid, nor were they considered "local" by most of the Ridge residents in attendance.

Yet, by the end of the night, this upstart got four out of five Town Councilman to say they should get a shot at negotiating their way into the waste contract.

Now, how will the ice sales go at the Board of Supervisors on July 25? Like pretty much everything else concerning the county-level vote, nobody can really say at this point.

But now the Ridge knows who ATLAS is.

And the other members of The Rat Pack? Peter Lawford and Joey Bishop.

Outlaws stands report

My thoughts from Section 105, Row P of last night's Chico Outlaws-San Diego Surf Dawgs game:

* The race the mascot promotion: Rascal just shouldn't stop at third and wait for the little kid to catch up with him. He should stop and stretch, pretend to pull a hammie, etc. Entertain the crowd a little more. Besides that, however, I found the raccoon to be in fine form.

*My buddy Adam on the conclusion of the race: "You know, I really need to stop putting my money on Rascal."

*Okay, I know this league is development-focused and helping players iron out their rough spots. But seriously, how does a seeing eye single transform into Jason Matteuccci scoring a virtual inside-the-park home run?

*Toward the end of the game, I saw somebody leaving the park holding a Chico Heat seat cushion. Some personal advice: Retire it. Please. The Heat are no more. They're gone. They're never coming back. Give it up and enjoy what you have now.

*A good way to embarass your friend at the game is to wait until he's talking on his cell phone with his mother, and then yell into the phone a bit too loudly that he is not in fact at a baseball game but a house of ill repute.

*To be quite honest, I could have used a little more cowbell...

July 13, 2006

Sort of like a nicotine patch for a smoker

So this morning I was up in Stirling City covering an event on cultural tourism.

Stirling City, for those who don't know, is another 10 miles past Magalia on the Skyway. The population sign reads 400, but as with any small town, the actual population is anybody's guess.

Stirling City reminds me a lot of the small town I grew up in, in a rural portion of Siskiyou County near the Oregon border. It has a few hundered more people than Stirling City but is more isolated. A lot of same types of trees, and the hilly terrain is similar--although I think where I grew up is slightly steeper.

I've only been back to where I grew up once since I started working at The Post in December--and that was on bereavement leave after my grandmother died. While nothing can replace the town where I was raised (but not born, my parents hopped over the border into Oregon to take care of that) for the first 18 years of my life, at least when I go to Stirling City it has a bit of the look.

Familiar faces, new masthead

So word is that Tom Gascoyne and Josh Indar--the former editor and news editor of the Chico News & Review--are starting a new alt-weekly to be called The Chico Beat.

I first got word of this today when Indar talked about both Chico Beat and a quarterly arts magazine called 10 Spot at a Butte County Cultural Tourism event in Stirling City.

While Gascoyne is best known for his stint as the News & Review's Managing Editor, he was also a reporter here at The Post for two years.

If/when Chico Beat gets going (Indar and Gascoyne are shooting for August), Chico will once again be a two-alt-weekly town, like it was when there was both the News & Review and the Chico Examiner. Although I will admit I personally feel that's not fair to my old stomping grounds of Chico State's student newspaper The Orion, which gets all too often ignored in the county's media circuit.

I'm working on a full story for this to be printed in The Post. So feel free to buy a copy when it comes out and help keep me employed.

July 12, 2006

The macdaddy of pitches

Shame it's a dying breed. Forget Barry Bonds or Albert Pujols or Big Papi. Give me Tim Wakefield or Charlie Hough or the Niekro brothers any day of the week.

Worldwide Zidane

Been doing some searching on YouTube to see what people are coming up with in regards to Zinedine Zidane's headbutt in the World Cup final. Here's some of the best:

Believe it or not, Zidane may have actually saved Materazzi's life. Cats are evil.

Zidane could have been trying to get an endorsement in the same way Terrell Ownes made himself known to Sharpie.


C'mon, you know it was only a matter of time before somebody made a MasterCard parody...

Best one I've seen that puts the headbutt to music. Different camera angle; song is "Boom" by System of a Down.

Now Zidane is fighting the evil of communism in Cuba.

You can also play this game where the goal is to get Zidane to headbutt Materazzi as far as you possibly can. It's not in English, but here's how it works: hit the space bar as rapidly as you can as Materazzi runs toward Zidane to build up power. Then, you'll choose the angle at which Materazzi will fly. Once he stops skidding on the ground, click on the button that says "lanzar de nuevo" to play again.

Studies show cowbell works faster than Tylenol at curing fevers

The Cowbell Project is a Web site that creates a database of songs that feature the cowbell.

If you're not sure about why the site proclaims actor Christopher Walken as the "patron saint of cowbell," this link should help you out.

P.S. Hillary? McCain? Frist? Heck no! Vote Walken in 2008.

July 11, 2006

Oy vey...

Looking back at my last post, I think I need to type a wee bit slower. Nobody show that to Anna Harris, The Post's copy editor.

But, no matter. At times like this, I just think of Tim Mason. He's an EMT in the Atlanta area that I became an aquaintance of after we worked together at a Web site called Onerock Online. Fortunatly, I made his aquaintance after he was investigated by the FBI, so I'm in the clear.

Anyways, any time something goes bad for me at work, I can just recall Tim's dealings with the Georgia Department of Motor Vehicles.

A sample:

...a few months ago I got a parking ticket...which I didn't pay. After that I got a summons to court, which I ignored. That led to a warrant for my arrest, which I evaded and the eventual suspension of my license. But truth be told, suspension was a moot point because it had already expired. I broke a lot of laws. I called it a minor act of civil disobedience. I saw myself as a punk rock Gandhi...

About that county waste vote...

Now that the town had made their call on the waste-hauling franchise, the ball is now back in the court of the Butte County Board of Supervisors.

Now, the question is, how are they going to vote? Based on comments made by the Supervisors when this hauling contract first came up to them on June 13 and they decided to postpone their decision until the town made theirs, here is an overview on what to look for.

Breaking it in alpabetical (which comes out to also be district numerical) order:

Bill Connelly, District 1- He's out on vacation until July 24, the day before the meeting. Odds are pretty good once he hears the Town Council's decision, he won't be pleased.

Connelly made no bones about throwing his support behind Norcal during the June meeting, even stating that he believe the joint county-town committee's process was biased against Norcal. Not too much of a surprise on that--Norcal's local branch is based in Oroville, which Connelly represents.

He said in June he would vote no on any negotiation process that excludes Norcal. Will he stick to that?

Jane Dolan, District 2- Dolan was on the town-county committee that recommended negotiating just with Northern. And anybody that's ever watched Dolan operate at a meeting -- regardless of what you might feel about her political persuaison -- would be hard-pressed to say she doesn't do her homework.

Now, is she willing to maintain her initial recommendation, or adjust it to what the town decided?

Mary Anne Houx, District 3- Houx's primary complaint in June was her opposition to a single hauler-franchise. Now that the two companies considered "local" are out of the game with the town, one's left to wonder if she's in definite opposition.

To make things even better, she doesn't have to worry about any re-election biteback. But could her actions have an impact on Maureen Kirk's campaign?

To sidetrack here a second: Now that Northern and Atlas have created a foothold in the county, are either of them going to start contributing to the runoff candidates for Houx's soon-vacant seat? Are Norcal and Waste Management going to try to amp up their political spending? These next couple of campaign donor forms from Kirk and Steve Bertagna should make for interesting reads.

Curt Josiassen, District 4- If Houx and Connelly stick to their guns in opposition, while Dolan and Yamaguchi maintain their recommendations from committee, Josiassen becomes the swing vote.

I talked to him on the phone earlier, and he didn't give any indication to his vote at this pont.

Since that possibility of being the swing vote exists, Josiassen could start receiving more mail and phone calls from Magalia than he's ever received in his life.

Kim Yamaguchi, District 5- Yamaguchi served with Dolan on the committee, and judging from the interview he gave a week and a half ago to myself and town reporter Kelly Reed, he's sticking to his guns.

I mean, think about it. Yamaguchi brought up pasta in the interview, in reference to his statement that town officials are bending politically "like a wet noodle."

After saying that, will Yamaguchi alter his stance come the 25th?

So, you out there reading this, post your thoughts. I want to hear what you have to say.

July 10, 2006

Wow.

See the one word title on this post?

That alone pretty much describes my reaction to the Paradise Town Council special meeting tonight. How so? Let me count the ways:

*Wow. I did not expect the motion that Councilman Alan White made to negotiate with Northern Recycling and Atlas Disposal.

*Wow. I wonder if county reps saw that motion coming...

*Wow. Councilman Steve Culleton got mad. How many more times could he have possibly said no before he got his name called on the roll call vote?

*Wow. Four hours for two votes.

*Wow. I didn't show up until 7:00 because we were finishing production on Tuesday's edition of The Post, and I had to park over at The Spinning Wheel and get escorted across Skyway by VIPS.

*Wow. With all the people in the meeting chambers and overflow in the hallways, Town Hall started smelling like the weight room back in community college.

*Wow. Did Mayor Sam Dresser actually hint that the franchise might encourage the county to lower fees at the Neal Road landfill?

*Wow. Councilman Scott Lotter explained his yes vote with the phrase "I see where this is headed, so..."

*Wow. Paradise and Magalia residents show up to support Waste Management and Norcal. Guess what two companies aren't invited to the negotiations.

*Wow. Now that Paradise is locked in, I can imagine what will be going on at the Board of Supervisors meeting on the 25th, which I'll be covering.

More later...

Who says politics isn't a spectator sport?

Well, I'm not covering the special Town Council meeting tonight on the waste haulers franchise, but I'm still going to be there tonight as soon as I can, depending on when the paper is put to bed.

I'll admit it, normally I wouldn't show up at Town Council. On standrd meeting days, I'll have already covered at least one meeting and had my fill of ayes, nays, policy discussions and people giving six-minute-long public comments that could have easily been condensed to a good 45 seconds.

But once in a while an issue comes up that brings the public to life and actually gets them to show up at public meetings instead of just reading about it. Those have to be celebrated. TNT isn't the only thing that knows drama.

So, I might have notepad in my back pocket when you see me roaming around Town Hall tonight. But I'm just there to watch and enjoy a good old-fashioned democratic bull session.

Some of today's witty headlines

Sales of organic beers start to hop (Associated Press)

WMD story was mostly gas, but it struck a nerve (Sacramento Bee)

Heady reward: Zidane wins Golden Ball (Sportsnet, Canada)

More on Zidane: Photocaption: Zizou gives Marco Materazzi the old 'Marseilles Handshake.' (Toronto Star)

I don't think this is what Darwin had in mind...

For klutzes like me, it's hard enough to learn one dance. But 29?

What you're looking at here is "The Evolution of Dance," a routine by motivation speaker Judson Laipply.

Depending on your personal perspective, this might be reverse evolution, but personally, I just get a kick out of it.

I got all the dances documented except the second to last one, between Eminem's "Lose Yourself" and Jay-Z's "Dirt Off Your Shoulder." Help with that--if I could get it--would be appreciated.

July 08, 2006

Platypus Saturday Rant #1

The time has come for us Americans to go the way of the loonie.

No, not this kind of loonie:

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This kind of loonie:

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That is the Canadian $1 coin, nicknamed the "loonie" because of the common loon featured on its inverse. Back in 1987, production of dollar coins in Canada increased because the Canadian government decided to take the dollar bill out of circulation.

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On the bright side, my grandmother gave me a Canadian $1 bill when I was a little kid. It's tucked safely away with other Canadian money in a small Bible-shaped piggy bank.

Anyways, back on subject.

The other day while on my lunch break, I stopped at the Paradise Post Office to purchase a booklet of stamps from the vending machine. Lacking enough change to insert exactly $7.80, I put in a $10 bill. Low and behold, I get my change in two dimes—and two U.S. dollar coins, one Sacagawea and one Susan B. Anthony.

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Great.

Dollar coins are handy in a few places—large city transit systems and Las Vegas casinos for starters. But where the heck are you going to use a dollar coin in Butte County? Vending machines aren't calibrated to accept them. Also, I'm a former convenience store clerk. Whenever I got a dollar coin I was thrown for a loop for a second, there's no place to store them in the coin trays and if I wasn't playing close attention to the coins, the Anthony dollar looks a heck of a lot like a quarter.

Yet ultimately the dollar coin would be better than the dollar bill. You don't have to go through you can just go in your pocket and pull out the coin directly instead of fumbling through a wallet or purse. Plus, metal coins are more durable than paper bills.The one thing I'm not sure on is if the government ultimately makes more seigniorage on coins or paper money.

So, why didn't the dollar coin catch on? Simple: People, whether they admit it or not, hate changing. So if the American government issues dollar coins but doesn't start taking the $1 bill out of circulation, people are going to stick with the ratty, dirty George Washington over shiny Sacagawea.

While they've blown the chance with the Presidential $1 Coin Act of 2005, Congress needs to do the right thing and start weening the American public off the dollar bill. Don't worry, Washington fans — George will still be on the quarter. Encourage a wee little tax break for vending machines companies to recalibrate their vending machines to accept dollar coins. Start putting dollar coins in the dollar bill slots. As the dollar bills wear out and come back to the Fed, don't replace them with new bills. Replace them with coins instead.

Plus, the more Sacagawea coins that are made, the quicker those ugly Anthony dollars can be taken out of circulation. (Sorry Sue, but the whole hendecagon-edge doesn't look good on silver)
So, that's why American needs to get a little more loonie.

July 07, 2006

Quick technical notes

If you're posting a comment to Platypus, you're likely getting a e-mail saying the comment wasn't delivered.

Don't worry, the comments are getting through. That little technical issue has been sent on to the Post's webmasters and will be taken care of.

Sorry for the confusion.

URCC Meeting today

Just a quick reminder that the Upper Ridge Coordinating Council will be meeting today at 1:30 p.m. in the library of the Paradise Pines Property Owners Association on Wycliff Way in Magalia.

The guest speaker is John Gulserian of the county's Office of Emergency Services. Bet you he'll talk about fire.

Also, while talking with URCC Chairman Charles "Buzz" Glass, I learned of what he has planned for the new few months.

August's scheduled speaker is Paradise Town Manager Chuck Rough, The planned speaker for September is Paradise Unified School District Superintendent Steve Jennings, and Glass is working on having some sort of candidate debate for the October meeting.

Verbatizing a search engine.

Some of the words that will making their first appearance in the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary in 2006 have been announced.

And that one that is generating a lot of buzz, particularly among "mouse potatoes" (which is one of the new words) is the addition of the verb "google."

Other new words include "avian influenza" (just call it bird flu), "drama queen" and "supersize."

News & Review supports fire camp, but how many oppose it?

In an editorial yesterday, the Chico News & Review supported the placement of an inmate fire camp in Magalia.

Actually, shortly after the CN&R's Web site updated last week, it appeared as though they would be running the fire camp editorial then, but it was switched out for an editorial concerning the resignations at Enloe. The site text has since been corrected.

If I were a betting man, Jim & Nancy Barnes, who have been spearheading the opposition to the camp's proposed location, will be sending the first letter to the CN&R's downtown office. The opposition hasn't been shy about sending in letters, but as of yet a more telling estimate of their size (such as how many signitures have been collected on petitions) hasn't been announced.

July 05, 2006

Can readers fill me in here?

When I'm writing my stories, one of the things I try to do as soon as I can is understand why a story I'm writing is important to readers. Relevance is one of the things that gets hammered on you in journalism school.

But I'll be honest, I'm kind of lost on why people are getting so angry over the waste hauling franchise.

I'm chalking this up to the naivity of youth. I rent an apartment in Chico, so my garbage fees are part of my rent. Growing up, it was my parents that payed when trash was taken away, not me.

So, help out the 23-year-old tenderfoot on this: Why, exactly, are people putting this much focus on the franchise?

"The effluvia never touched the table"

If you haven't heard about the controversial officiating at Tuesday's Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island, take some advice and don't read any reports on the contest if you've just finished eating yourself.

Here's a tidbit from the story as to why I'm saying that:

"When the hot dog came up, and some of it came out his nose, Kobayashi sucked it back down. To me, that's the testament of a champion and great athlete."

Ultimately, I think the Rally Monkey is still cooler.

During their World Series run a couple years ago, the Angels had the Rally Monkey.

But now, the Long Beach Armada have the Rally Skunks.

Having grew up in a skunk-riddled area, I would say that the potential side effects of the Rally Skunks make this a very high-risk proposition. Although, if the Armada start selling a skunk-shaped hat or something, I'm there.

As a bonus, now that Jose Canseco is headed to the Armada after playing just one game with San Diego, the ironies you can make are just bountiful.

July 03, 2006

New hours for some county offices

An e-mail I received the other day from Butte County's Director of Development Services Tim Snellings:

Hi everyone:

Just a quick note to let you know that Butte County Departments of Public Works, Environmental Health and Development Services will be expanding our hours to the public starting July 3rd. We will start by opening a ½ hr earlier each day and staying open a ½ hr later each day.

Here are the new hours:

Monday – Friday 7:30 am to 4:30 pm (exception, Tuesday from 8:30 am – 4:30 pm due to a weekly permit coordination meeting)

I’m sure we’ll have some bugs to work out, but next Monday is our GO LIVE date. Our goal is to continue to improve our services to our customers. Please help us get the word out. If you have any suggestions, please do not hesitate to send them my way.

Thanks, Tim

Where should the GBL go next?

Expansion is often on the minds of minor sports league.

When your league only has six teams, like the Golden Baseball League, that expansion is especially critical, since one team going under puts the entire league at risk.

The league is somewhat helped by its single-entity ownership setup—one group of investors owns all the teams in the league—so if a team has a down-year financially, teams that had better years can balance things out. Even so, the more strong teams the GBL has, the better.

At this point, the GBL has only announced one expansion team for the 2007 season, in St. George, Utah. St. George, like four the league’s current cities, is a former home of a Western League team, the Pioneerzz.

Now, where else should the GBL be looking to expand? Here are my suggestions.

Vacaville- The San Francisco Business Times reported in an April story that the league is already looking into placing a team here, which was home to the Western League’s Solano Steelheads and has a stadium sitting there, ready and waiting. Overall, Vacaville is a solid choice. You have a newer stadium, the Steelheads were relatively strong in the ticket sales department and Vacaville is far enough from both Sacramento and San Francisco to be considered both a suburban and rural market.

I’ll also admit bias—both my aunt and uncle work for the Vacaville newspaper. In fact, I was job shadowing at the Vacaville paper for my senior project when Kevin Mitchell’s punch heard ‘round the world occurred.

Medford, Oregon- Vacaville is still the better option, but Medford’s not too far behind. Not only does Medford itself have a market-worthy population (68,099 in the U.S. Census’ 2004 estimate), but there are enough decently-sized communities close by to draw from, such as Ashland (20,755), Grants Pass (27,195), Central Point (15,152), Talent (5,813), Phoenix (4,379) and White City (5,466). Overall, the population of Jackson County is 195,322, not much difference from Butte County's 210,000-plus.

Medford last had professional baseball in 1999, the Southern Oregon Timberjacks of the Class A Northwest League. The T-Jacks, an Oakland Athletics affiliate, bolted for Vancouver, B.C. when Vancouver’s Triple-A team became the Sacramento River Cats.

As an added plus, Medford has a brand-new stadium in Harry & David Field, replacing Miles Field which is going to become the location of a new Wal-Mart Supercenter. Harry & David currently has seating for 1,500, but was designed to be easily expandable should a pro team come to town.

Bias here as well--I was born in Medford.

I’ll discuss other expansion options in future posts.

There's more than one World Cup

While the soccer World Cup is on everybody's minds, the United States rugby team began its qualifying for the 2007 Rugby World Cup with a 91-0 thrashing of Barbados at Stanford University.

This actually leaves the Americans just one win away from a trip to the RWC, which is being hosted by France. Only problem is, they will have to beat Canada, and the Canadians are ranked just ahead of the US in the world rankings.

That game is on Aug. 12 in Newfoundland. Needless to say, I'm not holding my breath for the game to show up on ESPN. However, I'll get all the poker I could possibly handle.

July 02, 2006

Is Canseco already paying off?

While listening to the radio broadcast of the Chico Outlaws game last night, KPAY play-by-play man (and Outlaws director of public relations) Rory Miller said during the bottom of the fourth inning that the Outlaws had sold over 1000 tickets to their Monday game in a 24-hour period.

That game would sell a lot of tickets anyway, since that is the Outlaws' Independence Day observance (they'll be on the road on the 4th in Fullerton), but it probably doesn't hurt the ticket sales that the Monday game will be the Golden Baseball League debut of Jose Canseco.

So it looks like having Jose around is already making some money for the league.

July 01, 2006

It's a grand, grand jury

You know, if a person only looks at the Table of Contents of the latest Butte County Grand Jury report, it would seem that the jury--how shall we say this--skirted the serious stuff.

Come on, animal shelters? The county fair? Compared to last year's report that pretty much ripped on three county supervisors and addressed the big issues over Jeff Sloan and Marsh Jr. High in Chico, the report this year seemed to be the legal equivilent of being a stand-up comic and having to go onstage after Bob Hope.

The grand jury operates in secret, but there are hopes of what they might investigate, such as confidental Chico City Council memo leak to our sister paper in the valley (and my personal hopes of the details of a state shield law fight).

Guess this is that old "don't judge a book by its cover" theory. Especially when that cover has over 400 pages following it.

If you do take the chance to read the Grand Jury Report, the 120-plus page section on the Auditor-Controller's office is particularly juicy. I'll be needing to do some follow-up on that.

And it wasn't even the razor that did it

If David Hasselhoff can do all this just while shaving, I don't even want to know what could happen when he brushes his teeth.